Reminder... it's just a joke!
You Have Two Cows
DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your
cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? It's
not your fault he didn't stay in school. Never-the-less, ultimately you
take pity on your neighbor and see that his children have milk, while
you encourage him to accept responsibility for his situation and to work
hard to acquire his own cows.
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The
government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a
cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST: You
have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you
to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country
who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes
them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then
pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have
two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the
second one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You
are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
stock goes up.
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone
votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown
one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people
vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million
cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so
you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the
top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have
two cows. You re-engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for
lunch. Life is good.
